Vigil
by DarkAngelLillith
Summary: Alistair watches and thinks while waiting for his love to wake after defeating the archdemon


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

**A/N:** I know this is not how it really happened, but my city elf was heartbroken and I had to do something.

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**Vigil**

The explosion that rocked Fort Draken signaled the death of the archdemon. Below, the army gathered cheered as the darkspawn retreated back into the underground. Unnoticed, a young witch named Morrigan walked away from the battle site before anyone came searching for her. She had little time to waste before they noticed her absence and she'd rather leave now than wait for the Grey Wardens to realize what exactly they'd done. On the rooftop, a young man turned king cradled the unmoving body of his fellow Grey Warden.

The days after the battle were the hardest. The people of Ferelden did their best to rebuild their lives. While families either celebrated or mourned, Denerim's castle remained in silence. The nobles spoke in hushed voices. The servants moved as if they were ghosts. The companions of the Grey Warden Heroine stood in front of her door, silently waiting for news on their leader. The healers worked on her unconscious body almost nonstop. Through it all, Ferelden's King stood at her side like he promised.

"It's all my fault. I should've been more diligent," Wynne whispered to herself, though Alistair was close enough to hear her.

He'd never seen her look so tired. He knew about the spirit that kept her alive. Keeping Leilani alive had surely cost the mage time of her life. As a man with a short lifespan, he could truly appreciate how much the mage cared for his little elf.

"Or you could've wagged your finger and scold the archdemon into behaving. That would've saved us a lot of trouble, grandma."

He tried his best to sound upbeat, if only to keep some sort of normalcy. He needed everything to be as normal as possible. He needed to believe she was going to wake up and everything would be alright. He needed to believe he didn't sleep with Morrigan for nothing. The only reason he wasn't scrubbing his skin raw right now was the cold fear that she would die while he was away from her. After she wakes, he vowed he would spend a whole week cleansing himself. Maybe there was a spell that could make him forget that night ever happened. With his luck, he'd end up like that creepy dwarf that made enchantments, only without any skills and more drooling.

He didn't miss Wynne's tolerant smile. It wasn't the annoyed sigh of exasperation he was used to get from her and he wondered if he was losing his touch. He promised he'd try harder after Leilani woke up.

"I doubt that would've stopped her from flying into danger," Wynne said, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder, "I truly hope you both can forgive me."

"For what? Hoarding the cookies Lady Isolde made for us? Or for guilt tripping us into giving you the best spot for sleeping at camp?" at least no one could say he gave up easily.

This time he was rewarded with a chuckle as the mage removed her hand and took a seat beside him. The silence between them grew and Alistair turned his attention back to the female lying in bed. Maker's breath, she was beautiful… like a sleeping goddess… and so frighteningly frail now that the mages had left her to wake on her own. Her hand was so small on his, it was impossible to imagine her with a blade in it.

"I don't think you both know. It's not like you know which signs to look for to spot this sort of thing," Wynne said, breaking the silence and gaining his attention.

She had that look on her face that told him she expected him to be serious. Usually, he would ignore such a look and be at his most _'charming'_, but she was speaking about Leilani and that was enough to still his tongue.

"What… thing… are you talking about?"

Wynne sighed, "That only serves to prove my point. I do hope you're not joking this time. It shouldn't even come as a surprise given the amount of times you both shared a tent."

"What does sharing a tent have to do with her being like this?" he asked knowing he was missing something. Wynne gave him a look that shouldn't be allowed on women older than forty.

"My dear Alistair, sharing a tent was not the problem. Playing hide the soldier in the keep, on the other hand, is what caused her condition."

Alistair's image of her as a strict, innocent grandmother shattered at that comment. He could feel his face turn red in embarrassment and he hoped Andraste pitied him and kept anyone from entering the room. What next? Licking lampposts in winter? He wondered if that was why Knight-Commander Greagoir had listened to her despite claiming he would believe no one but the First Enchanter.

"I… ah… Aren't you like too old to be talking like that? I mean… I don't… I don't believe mages are allowed to even know that sort of thing."

"Maker's breath, but you're truly adorable when you blush," the mage interrupted him and Alistair couldn't help but wonder if she would pinch his cheeks too. Though after that last comment, he wouldn't be surprised if she pinched him elsewhere. To be on the safe side, from now on he'd keep a good distance from her.

"I just don't see how that's relevant to her condition."

"You wouldn't," she retorted, "though that's because you still haven't got it."

"Then please, enlightened my dense self, ma'am."

"She's pregnant," she said and Alistair felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. Wynne continued speaking, oblivious to the shock she just gave him, "I should have noticed it sooner, but we have been so busy fighting and traveling that I concentrated on healing injuries. Maybe if I had taken the time to check the group more thoroughly at camp, I would've seen it and inform you. It was my irresponsibility that got her like this. If I had any idea, I would have personally tied her up back at Redcliff instead of letting her fight."

"You mean she's… I'm…" He didn't know what to think. He turned to watch her, a trembling hand settling on her lower stomach, trying to see the truth in the mage's words. There was a small bump, too small to be taken into consideration. Could it be true?

"You don't know how lucky you both are. She came so close to losing it," The mage said, though Alistair was barely listening to her, "She'll wake up, though she'll be weak for a while. The death of the archdemon took more out of her due to her condition."

She left after those words, closing the door after her and telling Sten and the Mabari dog to not let anyone in. Alistair didn't notice her departure. All he could see was his elf lying on that bed. All he could hear was the mage's voice saying over and over he was going to be father. All he could think of was that he'd been so close to losing them.

The knowledge that he'd been about to end things with her made him sick. He had the conversation all planned out and had even approached her after the Landsmeet, but he couldn't end things with the entire group watching. She deserved better than that and he had retreated. Vowing that as soon as he had the opportunity he would end their relationship. He was King now and everyone was expecting him to marry a noble. She wasn't a noble. He told himself two tainted persons could not father a child and he needed to continue the royal line. He had even come to believe that line himself.

Thank the Maker he didn't manage to get her alone and say those things to her. He hadn't been sure he could live without her. Now, after days of watching her fight for her life, he was sure he was breathing only because she kept on breathing too. How could he leave her? He'd rather leave the throne than let her go. Especially now that…

Parents! He smiled at the thought of a little girl. She'd be just like her mother minus the ears.

"Alistair? What... Where am I?" her voice, weak and low, still had the power to make his mind go blank. He wondered how he could still react and hold her in place when she started to sit up, "The archdemon!"

"He's dead, my dear. You missed the explosions and the celebrations. Oghren entertained us all dancing a traditional naked dwarf dance to one of Leliana's lewd songs while you slept. You are in so much trouble, young girl," he said, a bubbling happiness enveloping him. He suddenly felt the urge to place doggie treats in Leliana's pack and sick the Mabari on her, "You had us all worried."

"What?" she said, a frown on her face, and obviously confused. He kissed her, a playful peck that only seemed to add to her confusion, but that made her even more beautiful to his eyes.

"Alistair? You do know you reek, right?" she spoke again, slowly, as if it had been him the one waking up instead of her.

"I was raised by dogs, dear. Remember? I'm just following their teachings."

"I don't think Ferelden's ready for a dog king," she said, a wide smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes that made him feel more alive than ever before. She tried to sit up again, but he stopped her. He didn't want her to exert herself. She just woke up after all. And she was carrying his baby! She would be staying in bed until the pregnancy was over, just to be sure.

He took her hand and felt her weak squeeze. He almost let her go. He almost lost her to his own fears of being rejected by the nobles. He almost lost her to the archdemon. He knew the Maker would not give him another chance to keep her if he screwed this up again. He couldn't lose her and he couldn't lose his child… Their child.

"I don't think Ferelden's ready for an elf queen, but they're going to have her anyway," he said, going for the playful tone, "Though I guess that would go over better than a dog king. And here I was going to ask you for that collar you bought in the market for the Mabari to wear on my coronation."

He heard the intake of breath and looked into her surprised eyes.

"I promised, didn't I? You and me together, always," he whispered while wiping the tears from her eyes.

"I… I thought that being king would change things," she whispered to him, " I hoped… but… I love you."

"And I you," he whispered back before kissing her. She looked happy, though he could see her battling against sleep.

"Go to sleep, my love," he told her while tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear, "I'll just go for a moment to tell the others you're fine and take a bath. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" she mumbled, more asleep than awake.

"I promise," he said, leaning close to her ear to whisper, "I'll always be here for you and our child."

Her eyes flew open at those words, but he was heading out and nothing would stop him. He could hear her calling his name and demanding an explanation. He turned down the hallway and smiled at Bann Teagan. There were a million problems that needed to be solved. The matter of Morrigan and the question of what exactly destroying the archdemon so close to his child might have done. Even the question of what the taint could do to the child. He didn't care right now. Right now, it was good to be king.


End file.
